6.11.2007,9:18 PM
Ghost Rides
I remember……… your taste, your scent, the little moans, the nervous laugh, the narrow crevice of your triceps under my hands, your hands on my skin, fingers in my hair….. the nebulas of gray, hazel, and green in your eyes as I lost myself, drawn down inside them. Your voice quivering with uncertainty, confusion, my questions probing under the layers that lay dormant for who knows how long; your anxieties blinding you, driving you as you rode away.

And me standing alone in disbelief, suffocating in humiliation, pain closing my throat; I can’t breath or swallow. The duct tape ripped off my heart as it shattered in pieces to the pavement below. Knees buckled and I slid down to kneel on the tarmac, as if all the air had been sucked out of me. In disbelief.

Numb and cold, the zombie that was me made it through the night, unable to sleep, think, except one question echoing in the night and the gray of the next day: “Why?”

Not even 1100 miles of never-ending road could find an answer. Only the quick turning of two wheels gave me any solace. And still I try to shed those memories and hurt off me as I ride.

And the question remains: “Why?”

I lost something back there. A part of me. I’m still trying to find it and put it back where it belongs. Back inside me, where it’s always been. Before it was broken. Before the strong oak was cut down and fell silently in the forest.

posted by Macrobe
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