1.23.2007,10:27 PM
The Longing
Did you ever want something, or someone, that you know you can never have? Not a desire driven by conquer or greed. It’s a longing of being ‘whole’.

It’s that longing to be in the sky when you gaze at the stars at night. To sail amongst the stars and planets, see them for what they really are in their own orbits; their immense size that we can only imagine, the absolute lack of environment that we take for granted on our own planet. To see all the celestial bodies that are the blanket of stars that we call the Milky Way in the midnight sky.

It’s the longing for someone you love with a realization that you will never share their nights watching them sleep, smile as they waken, hold them close to you and feel their warmth, share daily conversations or their pain and joy.

It’s the yearning to be free from conscription to a job that leaves you little time to live a fulfilling life. To be free from herding down the sidewalks and halls like cows to slaughter.
“Why do we do this every day?”, I asked on the train the other morning.
“Um, to have stuff,” was the answer.
We all tolerate stress, long hours and insolence to “have stuff” and we’re happy? If so, why doesn’t anyone smile and mean it?

It’s that longing to ride to the canyon floor and never have to leave. Ride through the mountains and never have to turn around. Set the sails and pull the anchor without having to ever moor again. Share the adventure of a lifetime with someone equally enthralled as you are.

It’s the longing to leave it all behind and never have to worry about a meal or having a warm bag to sleep in.

It’s the desire of sharing your life with someone you know you never can.

It’s the pull of going to places you know you never will; heading out on the road and never having to go back.

It’s something that tugs at your heart, grips your stomach and tightens your chest. It’s the longing to be ‘whole’, to be ‘complete’, to fill an emptiness that clouds you sometimes when you contemplate it, or when you least expect it.

It's something money can't buy.

You can deny that longing, that desire, that yearning all you want, but it’s still there. It lurks in the back of your day and haunts you in your dreams at night. It’s a ghost on the fringes of your perceptions.

It’s a part of you. You can’t deny it; it won’t go away. You can try to run from it, hide from it, bury it, smother it, excuse it, berate yourself for it.

But it’s a part of you. And it won’t go away.

But that’s okay.

It’s what makes us human.


posted by Macrobe
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