7.16.2007,11:48 AM
After I returned from my long bike trip last year I realized how little I need or want. How little I can do without, and how little I want. When I walked through the door of my house, it almost felt alien to me. Clothes in the closet and dresser, kitchenware, the few knickknacks I had lacked any connection. Walking through a store would leave me blank and empty. Nothing there titillated me; no desire to have or buy anything. Most everything around me was devoid of any connection and meaning; it was all 'stuff'.

Even at home many things assumed a status of 'stuff' except for those items I needed for basic comfort: my bed, coffee maker, couch and table.... I haven't turned on the TV or stereo on almost a year. Since I use my mac laptop almost exclusively now, the desktop computer in my home office is rarely booted up. I read or type on the laptop when I am home and not working out on the property or sitting outside on the bench enjoying sounds and smells of the natural world around me. I do what needs to be done on the house for maintenance and cleanliness, but no drive exists to improve on anything or redecorate.

With longing I remembered my life in the cabin in Maine so many decades ago and how simple it was. Granted I like having an indoor bathroom and some modern amenities (microwave, AC, heater and running water), I longed to return to that simplicity. And with an aching inside, I longed to be back on the road camping under the trees in the mountains, or on the sand in the desert. Or to have a small cabin as a base from which I can travel on long trips and without worry, with low maintenance and overhead costs. A place where I can walk outside and be amongst the inanimate and animate things that give me peace and inspiration.

That alienation, dissociation and longing still remain. Every time I go home from a bike trip, even after a day at work I still feel somewhat 'lost'. I want a home that is almost like my bike: small, economical and open to the environment. And my bike would be, it is, my 'home' on two wheels.

So, with this goal in mind, I have started to shed things, stuff, layers off me; unburden myself and my life. With a goal to live more simply and unburdened. Free to move around and live life fully, the way I want to, before its too late.

I want the freedom to go where and when I want to go. And to do so, I must shed material possessions and minimize my cost of living while still be comfortable and happy.
The shedding has begun.


posted by Macrobe
Permalink ¤