7.10.2007,8:19 AM
Shields up, Scottie!!!
Parking lots. The place where idiocy and chaos rule.

Of all places where riders should exercise caution, the parking lot reigns supreme. All common sense, courtesy, order and law dissipate into space, that final frontier - where all parking lot demons should go.

Go fast, don't look, ignore directional signs and pavement makers, race to the front parking spaces, talk on cell phones, park over or on space dividing lines, and....... ignore motorcycles. They're just little annoying bugs that shouldn't be on pavement anyway.

"The parking lots are *our* domains! Our territory! Our sacred place of lunacy! Get out of my way!!! My space! Mine!"

I can sit on the bike in a parking lot for 15 minutes (and often do) and count numerous examples of stupidity and wasted gas and time as they jockey for position, squeal tires to race to the front of the lot, then back-forward-back into a space six times, for what? Avoid walking an extra 50 feet? Be the first one out to insert themselves into lines of exhaust-spewing gas guzzlers at a stand still?

I sit on the bike as a big van drives a too-close-for-comfort circle around me, pulling into a space cockeyed and spends the next minute backing and pulling forward repeatedly to insert itself in between the two white 'don't-park-on-these lines'.

I cringe as a woman slowly backs into my space while gabbing on her cell phone. I reach forward and press my horn buttons and she slams on the brakes finally realizing "Oh, I'm not the only person that exists on this planet!".

Or in the dark of the night as a car comes barreling at me from the side of the bike. His headlights are splayed all over me; either he's blind or doesn't care. I crank the throttle open to flee his oncoming trajectory path.

Parking lots are dangerous. Roll into a parking lot and you can bet all common sense and responsibility are jettisoned outside the drivers' minds. Like an instant button of an ejection seat on which they drop their brains on.

I want a space shield for my bike. One that disintegrates anything that comes within a four foot radius of my bike and me. A button on the cowl and I'll yell out "Space shields up!!" when I press it. Laughing maniacally when cars or other vehicles disintegrate when they intrude upon my space.

Be careful out there. We're sitting and moving targets.


posted by Macrobe
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