7.12.2007,11:53 AM
I sat outside alone on the sidewalk, basking in the hidden sunshine. Droplets of water glistened like twinkling jewels as they landed on the concrete and quickly faded away in the heat, an antithesis of the Milky Way in a midnight sky. Glancing across the parking lot, I smiled at the similar solitude shared by my bike alone in the lot and underneath a tree.

Frustrations and irritation from work and the bodies on the train ride back melt away as I sip my iced coffee and watch the storm pass nearby. A column of streaked sunlight shines through a break in menacing blue clouds like a spotlight directed at the ground.
A woman in shorts, tank-top, flip flops and sunglasses gestures and talks loudly as she strolls alongside her friend in a long skirt, blouse and black heels clicking on the sidewalk. A man wheels his bicycle by, finds an empty seat at a round metal table and sits down with a sigh after leaning the bike against the wall. A mother and her little girl swing their legs and feet out of the car at the side of the curb, waving to Daddy and giggling as they step out.

Sitting here watching it all unfold before me and no one knows how attentively I see, observe and deduce. Similarly on the bike; I see things around me and calculate. The lone wolf on the edge of the pack. Watchful, vigilant, perceptive....... calculating. Waiting. Choosing when to enter into the movie, ride by or sit to watch.

I'm invisible. I lurk on the edges. Watching the movies around me, listening to the dialogues or writing the scripts in my head. I wonder if they see me, or only a mannequin. Only when I search their faces and contact their eyes is there a connection. A smile, nod, raise of an eyebrow, a gesture. A tacit acknowledgment.

Life on the surface. Almost invisible, fading in and out when I choose. Spaces barely overlapping, hardly touching, sometimes bumping. I get my fill, gear up and ride home. A transition from being smothered to my sanctuary of solitude on the prairie.

A place I call 'home'. Where I am visible only to myself.


posted by Macrobe
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