12.18.2007,12:05 PM
Between worlds
I feel as though I am in the desert already and then not. As if I were an apparition, floating between two worlds, two time zones, two dimensions. I haven't been 'here' for days; all the preparing and getting ready to be in the desert for nine days. Despite that I'm minimizing this trip. Just the necessities to stay alive: warm clothes, camp gear, some food, hydration system, bike tools and gear. I don't need anything else. I don't want anything else.

Because when I'm there, I have it all. It's amazing how little things mean to me when I return. As if I've walked back into another life; someone else's life. I recall the same feeling of dissociation when I returned from being on the road for two weeks. Except for the Tennessee Ride Off the Cliff last April, I always feel as though I'm returning to a transient life.

Living until the next road trip. Here, I am in between places. Those places that I call 'home': the desert, canyons, mountains and forests.

For several trips in the past, I was accompanied in spirit by a person whose friendship I treasured. I called him 'Harvey', like Jimmy Stewart's invisible rabbit. He's gone. But in his place is more of me. And all of me rejoices in that.

So me, the lone wolf inside, and I will treasure our time in Big Bend, exploring new places. And new dimensions. As usual, I will return a different person. Still the same underneath, but with new layers. Like a painting of many brush strokes and colors. It makes my life richer, fuller and more colorful. A painting that changes, never the same.

I see the sun shining in that painting. And the full moon rising.


posted by Macrobe
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