Every evening after work I take an hour or so to sort and archive the collection of photographs taken on the recent trip. It reinforces my displacement from life here. Work has been so convoluted, I'm worn out before I get home in the evenings and weekends are busy trying to catch up on repairs and maintenance at home. Darkness descends earlier now and the cool temperatures allow for leaving the windows open. I find myself more and more treasuring the isolation of the darkness and the night noises of crickets, owls and coyotes outside my house. But I can't seem to stay awake past 8:30pm after rising at 4 am each morning.
As I review the photos in iPhoto on my laptop -both from the trip and the many albums of Big Bend photos- a sense of restlessness and urgency gnaw at my psyche. The lone wolf creeps back to her corner in the cage and sits, waiting for the right time to spring out through the door and escape into the wild where she feels more at home. The time for change has long passed and I berate myself for not acting sooner. A combination of my own procrastination and unforeseen circumstances let it slip by.
So now I wait and work toward a new opportunity when I can pull the plug and go forward towards change. Sometimes change is good, no matter how unpredictable the path ahead may be. Events have worked out in the past, they can again. Meantime, as Tom Rush sang in one of my favorite songs; "I get the urge for going. And I'll just have to go."
I think it's time for a weekend motorcycle trip.