2.10.2007,7:11 PM
Two Stooges Ride to Ponder: a play in two acts
Act One:
Warrior: Time to get dressed.
Wuss: No, I’m comfy.
Warrior: We’re going for a bike ride.
Wuss: No, too cold.
Warrior: That’s why you have heated gear and grips. Get up.
Wuss: But it’s cold. I don’t like cold.
Warrior: If you don’t get up and get dressed I’m going to make you despise us.
Wuss: Okay.

Wuss: Hey, it’s not so bad afterall.
Warrior: It will be. Bundle up.
Wuss: But…..
Warrior: You don’t like cold, remember?

Riding SE on 1886, N on 199, turn E on Hanger-Cliff Rd.
Warrior: Missed the turn for Eagle Mnt. Dam Rd.
Wuss: Dam! I hate when that happens.
Warrior: It’s a nice winding isolated road. And you missed it.

Turn right on Wells Burnet Road, past the marina, drive over the dam.

Warrior: Watch out! That hawk is heading right for our head!
[duck to the right]
Wuss: That was close!

Turn right on 10 Mile Bridge Rd.
Warrior: there’s that same old man walking the edge of the road. We see him every time we ride through here, and he wears the same worn clothes.
Wuss: Maybe he likes the road and the clothes.
Warrior: He’s waving at you.

Turn left on Robertson Rd.
Warrior: Be careful here; many blind spots.
Wuss: Wheeeee!!!! I love this roller coaster road!! Oops….

Stop at light on Boat Club Rd (1220), turn left, N.
Farther north on 1220.

Warrior: Detour sign! Warning, warning, Danger Elzi Robinson!!!
Remember what happened the last time?
Wuss: Oh yeah. Slow down NOW.
Less than 25 feet ahead, sharp corner left and over bridge, then right.

Wuss: Hey lookee there! All black cows on the right side of the road, all white cows on the left side of the road.
Warrior: Thus the Balance of the Universe is maintained.
Wuss: [sigh]

Wuss: Wooohoooo!!! It’s twistie time!!!
Gear down, lean, bank, accelerate out and straighten, get ready for next one.
Wuss: Man, it sure looks flat from up here.
Warrior: It is, silly.
Wuss: Railroad tracks ahead!
Warrior: Get ready to stand on pegs.
Knees soft, arms soft through elbows, and up. Wheeeee!!!!

Stop and turn left, N, on 718.
In Newark turn right on 3433, N to 287, N and exit 407 to Justin.
East on 407.

Warrior: Look out to the right! Another hawk aiming at us!
Wuss: Wow, I could see the lines in his feathers before he veered away. That was another close one.

Warrior: There’s the Denton County line and the Washboard Road from Hellen. Be careful.
Wuss: I likes the corners!
Warrior: I said ‘Be Careful’!!! Keep that suspension steady!
Wuss: Yes, ma’am.

Stop in Justin and turn N on 156.
Warrior: OMG….. incoming bird to the right!!!
Wuss: What’s with these birds today? Am I a bird magnet??

Warrior: Hey, there’s the turn. Park in the middle of the street.
Wuss: But I like it up front!
Warrior: Pull in and stop. Park. No need to back up and irritate the back.
Wuss: [pout]
Wuss: I can park in the middle of the streeet, nah nah, nah nah…..
Warrior: [rolling eyes]

Walk in, hit with the warmth of the stove, “Hey, look who’s here! Where ya been?”, sit next to the stove, love the stove, order sandwich, read book, chat with Foster and waitresses, Foster gave me a bar of soap that he makes from tallow rendered there at the restaurant (smells wonderful), read book, sip hot tea, and then………

Warrior and Wuss: Yes, ma’am; we’d like the blackberry cobbler, warm with a biiiig scoop of ice cream.
[giant grin]

Ahhhhhh,……..mmmmm…. yum……..
Now we want a nap.
Warrior:Gear up; let’s go.

Warrior: It’s cold out here.
Wuss: I TOLD YOU SO!!!!

Act Two:

Retrace roads home, curl up in fleece blanket and smile with blackberry cobbler and ice cream still sitting on the taste buds.

Wuss: Warrior?
Warrior: Huh.
Wuss: Can we go back tomorrow?
Warrior: NO! Now go to sleep.

Wuss and Warrior play the Western and Eastern hemispheres of TexasShadow’s brain.

Birds: Disguised aliens trying to scare the big earth road rodent on two funny rolling appendages.

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posted by Macrobe
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